My Marvelous Missouri Trip

Posted on September 30, 2026 by admin

Earlier this month, I spent a week visiting some friends in Missouri. We had been planning this trip for a long time, and we decided that starting it around Labor Day weekend would work great for us both. Here are some of the highlights (and a few lowlights) from that trip.

I had wonderfully smooth flights on the way up to Springfield. My friend picked me up and we visited some before turning in for the night. Since I still felt tired from the long day of traveling, we just chilled and hung out together for my first full day there. I enjoyed getting to visit with her, her family, and all their critters.

The next day, went to Dickerson Park Zoo in Springfield. This might have been the second zoo I’ve ever visited. Either way, I had lots of fun seeing the animals, especially ones that aren’t at the Jacksonville Zoo. I also enjoyed getting some pressed pennies at the gift shop at the end of the visit. After leaving the zoo, we looked through a couple of stores before having some delicious ice cream at Braum’s. That was my first time having Braum’s as they only operate in the Midwest. I loved it and now I wish there were at least one location in or near Florida.

After another rest day, we went to Uranus. If you’re not familiar with it, it is set up like a small old town. They have an ice cream shop, tattoo parlor, sideshow museum, occasional live performers, and a fudge factory with a huge gift shop. It’s a super fun place with lots of goofy stuff, plenty of weird stuff, delicious fudge and root beer, and more puns in one place than I’d ever heard before in my life. Since it’s on Route 66, they have lots of signs pointing to various attractions, start and end points, and other cool stuff along the way. Aside from the fudge and root beer, I got some pressed pennies, a few Route 66 hats, and some Mister Rogers sticky notes. I loved visiting there and I look forward to going back for more fun someday.

While one of my friends worked on my last full day in Missouri, I went with another friend to Springfield. This was a wonderful day for a few reasons. For one, this was the first time we’d gotten to hang out since 2017. A whole lot has changed for both of us since then, and, despite some hugely painful moments in both of our lives, we’re now in fairly good positions. I loved being able to talk about those good things, lots of other interesting things, and have fun exploring more of the Route 66 stuff. That visit was even better since 2026 is the one hundredth anniversary of Route 66 and Springfield is where the route got its name. I’m so glad I got to check out some parts of that classic road during such a big anniversary.

My last day of the trip was so bittersweet. While I was glad to be back home safely, I started missing my friends before I’d even left for the airport. As if that weren’t bad enough, I had a rough time getting back due to massive delays. The flight to Atlanta was fine, apart from a slight delay of about ten minutes. I had a friendly seatmate who was a genuine pleasure to visit and talk with. We caught up after the flight, shook hands, and wished each other well. I hope our paths will cross again someday. Unfortunately, it got far worse after that. From the time I left Atlanta to the time I got my checked baggage in Jacksonville, the delays totaled more than two hours. Over two hours of my life that I could have been doing other things I enjoyed more and which I’ll never get back again. On top of that, I had an annoying seatmate on the flight back to Jacksonville. He kept breathing heavily on me the whole flight, and that was after he initially sat in my seat, forcing us to do an awkward seat change with hardly any room. I did lots of letting go sessions during the flight and also while sitting on the runway for over an hour that helped me release most of the anger and fear. It was also lovely to hear someone playing piano in the Jax airport on my way to get my suitcase. Aside from helping me feel a bit better, it reminded me of listening to and briefly talking with a musician named Antoine Knight by the food court at the Atlanta airport earlier in the day. Beyond all of that, I’m glad to have made it home safely before Friday ended and gotten settled in well enough to juggle the next day with others in the park, watch the movie Cars while it was in theaters for its twentieth anniversary, enjoy my Sunday zoo visit, and get back into my usual routines with as little trouble as possible.

In addition to my human friends, I loved getting to visit with all the animals I encountered up there. It was lovely to pet goats and a donkey and later feed goats and giraffes at the Dickerson Park Zoo. At my friend’s house, I’m so glad I pet, played with, and visited three ferrets, two dogs, and a cat. I most loved her little dog. Aside from getting to visit with her again many years after first visiting her on my trip to Arizona and being glad she’s still alive on Earth, she was so cuddly and sweet. She also reminded me of my late dog Sawyer and brought me so much comfort during our time together. I hope that she’ll still be there on my next visit.

Overall, this was one of the best trips I’ve ever been on. Almost everything went well, and the few things that went badly didn’t ruin the experience. In addition to having Labor Day as a paid holiday, I also used some of my own paid time off. That got me ten days in a row away from work, almost half of which was paid, and let all of us thoroughly enjoy our time together. I loved having so much time off of work to rest, relax, and forget about all that stress. That was the longest work break I’ve had since last year’s Christmas vacation. Given the situation, I’d say my friends and I made the most of our time. We did pretty well at balancing rest and activity, staying home and going out, and big adventures with small pleasures. I intend to go back for another visit sometime next year. I hope that that one will be even bigger and nicer.

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The Pocket No

Posted on September 23, 2026 by admin

There is a concept called the pocket veto. I’ll let that link explain it if you’re not already familiar with it. I only bring this up because it’s similar to an idea that I call the pocket no. Here’s what that entails.

It’s easiest to explain it with an example. I often get social media invitations to a variety of different events. They can be for dancing, athletics, board games, openings of new businesses, and anything else you can imagine. Most of the time, I see the invitation, decide I’m not going, and then move on with my life. I almost always avoid marking whether or not I’m going or whether or not I’m even considering going, and I rarely let whoever sent the invitation know my plans. Sooner or later, the event comes up, happens whether or not I’m there, and ends. All without my having to get involved in any way. It’s as if I received the invitation, stuck it in my pocket, and forgotten about it. Hence the pocket no.

I love the pocket no for a few reasons. First, it’s much easier to avoid responding to an invitation than it is to say no. Especially with online invitations sent out to a lot of people automatically for big events where I won’t be missed if I steer clear. Beyond that, it prevents the recipient of my no from prying in the hope of finding a reason which they can then use in an attempt to make me go. For example, I once told somebody in person that I wouldn’t be going to a certain event because I had a gig that day. The pushy host then asked what time my gig was in the hope of getting me to attend either before the gig starts or after it ends. Fortunately, I stuck to my guns and avoided his event since the real reason was that I wasn’t interested in going. Still, if I had been able to ignore the invitation altogether, I wouldn’t have been tempted to give a reason for avoiding it and would thus have entirely avoided that unwanted pressure to attend. That’s where the pocket no is most useful.

I’ve even used the pocket no in real life. One example was at a nearby mall when somebody was trying to tell me about a show I wasn’t interested in seeing and I didn’t feel like talking to anybody at the time. I simply stayed quiet, looked ahead, and kept walking. Another time, I was at Art Walk, which is a monthly pop-up event in Downtown Jacksonville with live entertainment, vendors, and other fun stuff. Some people were going around with clipboards trying to get folks to sign something. I think one of those guys was trying that on me, though I can’t be certain because he was behind me, it was loud, and I didn’t turn around to see if he was repeatedly asking for my attention or someone else’s before he eventually gave up. Either way, I didn’t have to hear about his offer, be pressured into signing anything, or deal with the awkwardness of declining. The pocket no saved the day once again!

To clarify, if someone I know invites me to a small gathering, something deeply personal like a wedding, or an event specifically for me such as my birthday party, I’ll either attend or tell whoever invited me that I won’t be going. I use the pocket no for big events where my attendance is entirely optional and won’t affect the event in any significant way. That minimizes the chances of hurting someone else’s feelings as well as me getting dragged into something I’d rather avoid.

I’ve used the pocket no countless times since my dog Sawyer died. For about a year and a half after his death, I had hardly any excess energy to go out regularly for social purposes due to grieving almost constantly. Even now that I’ve healed almost completely from that unbelievably painful experience, I still find value in the pocket no. Anything that helps me set and maintain a boundary while doing little to no explaining is wonderful. I also love finding different ways of saying no without saying no, and this is one of the easiest and most effective, and I can safely say it’s my favorite. While I didn’t create the concept of the pocket no, I might be the first person to call it by that name. If so, that’s pretty cool, and I hope it catches on as I like that name a lot. Whatever anyone calls it, I love it, it’s served me well, and I plan to keep using it whenever it’s needed.

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Pictures in My Head

Posted on September 16, 2026 by admin

There are countless beloved people, places, events, and things from different parts of my life that brought me so much comfort and enjoyment. Unfortunately, many of them have died, gotten lost, been destroyed, or are otherwise no longer around on Earth. While they were once endlessly available to me, now they’re only pictures in my head. Here are some of them.

A great example of this is all the things I loved at Disney World that have been removed this decade. Aside from rides, shows, and other attractions, I miss lots of the land theming, especially figures. With DinoLand U.S.A. in Animal Kingdom, I so wish that I could go see Cementosaurus and other dinosaur figures from that land somewhere else. It would be lovely to see them in another Disney World theme park, resort hotel, Disney Springs, or even in a museum somewhere else in the world. The fact that they were destroyed and thus can’t be seen anywhere is heartbreaking to me, especially with Cementosaurus as his big, friendly, smiling face will never welcome anybody to a fun place ever again. I so wish he’d been moved to another location, whether next to Gertie at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, near the T-Rex restaurant in Disney Springs, or somewhere else where he could continue sharing smiles with guests.

The same goes for Muppets Courtyard. Even if MuppetVision 3D reappears elsewhere in Disney World or even somewhere else outside the parks and is the exact same show that it used to be, it will still be in a different theater and part of the world than it was before. It’s even worse for the Stage 1 Company Store, which used to showcase Muppet memorabilia and sell Muppet merchandise. Unfortunately, it was demolished in 2025 to make way for new attractions. There’s no bringing that back, and that makes me feel sad.

I feel immense comfort in making physical contact with beloved things from my past. My Huckle Cat plushie is one of my favorite stuffed animals in large part because he’s been with me for almost all of my life. He’s still in great shape, looks almost exactly the same now as he did thirty years ago, and, aside from his voice box no longer working, has held up great over time. Holding, hugging, and cuddling him brings me immense comfort and reminds me of watching The Busy World of Richard Scarry along with him as a kid, going to preschool and elementary school, and doing other enjoyable activities when life was much simpler, easier, and overall more fun than it is now. He helped me a lot when I started my current job last year and still helps me feel better after a hard day at work or elsewhere. I’d feel devastated if he ever got lost, stolen, hurt, or destroyed, or otherwise separated from me. I hope he stays with me for the rest of my life.

This is why I feel so grateful to have many of my dog Sawyer’s belongings. They’ve brought immense comfort to me since he died over four years ago. I’ll never understand how somebody can give away blankets, beds, toys, leashes, harnesses, collars, bowls, and other items after their pets die. Or how some try desperately to forget they ever had a pet in the first place. The memories we made together and the love we shared kept me alive after Sawyer died. I wouldn’t have made it this far without them.

Of course, this also applies to my other loved ones who’ve died. Whether my grandparents or other human and animal family members and friends, I so miss being able to talk with, hug, and be around them. That’s by far the hardest part about their absences. As grateful as I feel for pictures and videos of them as well as some personal mementos of theirs that I kept after they died, I still wish I could interact with them physically as we once did. It still hurts whenever I reflect on the fact that we can’t anymore.

This is part of why I’ve found it harder to get rid of things over the last four years. So much of what I have brings back memories whenever I use, hold, or even simply see it. Many of these memories come flooding back after they’ve been gone for years. I fear that if I give up those possessions, I’ll also lose the memories they hold. At this point, I’d rather have “too much” stuff that reminds me of the best humans, animals, and times in my life than give up something that takes me back to those precious times with wonderful folks, especially when those folks are long gone. Fortunately, I need neither forgiveness nor permission from anybody else to do what brings me comfort, so I’ll keep this up as long as I need. I hope it continues helping me until I no longer need that help.

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The Magic of Boundaries

Posted on September 9, 2026 by admin

I’d like to talk a bit about boundaries. This subject has been in the back of my mind ever since I read Boundaries by John Townsend and Henry Cloud. While I reviewed it shortly after reading it, my appreciation for the concept and how it’s improved my life as I’ve better understood and implemented it have both grown over time. Here’s what I particularly like about it.

In the past, if someone close to me were saying something that I didn’t want to hear, I’d attempt to shut them up with requests, hostility if they refused my requests, reasons to obey me, and so on. The boundaries approach is different. Instead of trying to silence the speaker, I can set a boundary by covering my ears, listening to something that will at least muffle the speech if not totally drown it out, or simply leaving the area. That prevents a conflict, allows the other person to continue speaking freely, and avoids either of us being forced to do something we don’t want to do. In fact, I did just that very thing while waiting to get my hair cut a few weeks ago. One of the barbers was talking with his client about a subject I absolutely despise. After dealing with it for a while, I moved to the other side of the room. Unfortunately, that only slightly reduced the sound, and I could still hear their conversation loudly and clearly. Fortunately, I had my headphones in my car right outside. A minute after remembering that, I was watching a fun video and totally free from having to listen to that annoying conversation.

Another example comes from my first job. During a bit of a break, one of my coworkers referenced food that was available by saying, “You can eat this.” I responded by saying, “I don’t want to because I have food I brought from home.” Undeterred, she repeated, “You can eat this.” I also repeated, “I don’t want to because I have food I brought from home,” with more emphasis this time. “You can eat this,” she repeated yet again, at which point, I got up, went into another room, and ate my own food in peace. I realized the futility of continuing the conversation and trying to make my point clear, so I just left it. I’m impressed I did that at that point in my life because this was well before I’d read and probably even heard of Boundaries.

The same goes for someone asking questions I don’t want to answer. Before, I would attempt to silence them or forcibly change the subject. A much better approach is to state that I’d rather talk about something else, ask that the person will go along with me in a change of subject, and then set boundaries if they don’t. That might look like continuing to talk about something else over their attempts to force the subject I don’t want, stay silent rather than responding, or leaving the situation entirely if I feel annoyed enough. As with the other example, the boundaries approach respects the other person’s freedom to speak while also respecting my freedom to interact or not as I see fit.

These examples show the core of boundaries: they are about doing what I can with myself instead of trying to control others in order to get more of what I want and less of what I don’t want. I love that approach because it is less likely to lead to conflict and gives everyone much more freedom than the coercive approach. Also, I love that it doesn’t require me to even voice a concern first. All I have to do is alter what I’m doing to give myself a better chance of getting what I want, whether or not anybody else knows that’s what I’m doing. At the barbershop, I didn’t ask either of the people to change the subject or be quiet. I just made it much harder for me to hear their conversation and, as far as I can tell, stayed on good terms with them both. Sounds like a victory to me.

As with most other valuable life lessons, my dog Sawyer was a master of boundaries. If he disliked something, he might let me know with a whale eye, light growl, or other gentle warning. Most of the time, though, he simply left the room if he wanted privacy. Watching him and learning how to understand what he wanted based on what he did and “said” taught me a lot about how I can use boundaries in different areas of my life.

I hope that I’ll get better at voicing my concerns and asking for changed behavior where appropriate, as well as announcing when I’m setting a boundary. Fortunately, the above examples show that that is not always necessary, especially when dealing with a hostile person whom I will never see again for the rest of my Earthly life. However, I do want to give those close to me a chance to know when they’re doing something that hurts me, make amends, and do better going forward. After all, that’s just what I would appreciate them doing for me. I’m still pretty early in my healing journey, so it’s going to take more time for the work I’ve done to settle in fully and to go even further. As long as I keep making progress in those areas, all will be fine.

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Frequently Asked Questions

Posted on September 2, 2026 by admin

Folks who cross my path tend to ask me the same questions repeatedly. I’ve grown tired of answering them, even when they’re simple questions. As such, I decided to make a page of frequently asked questions. Whether by sending someone the link to this post or by carrying a wallet-sized version, I hope that this will save me the trouble of verbally answering these questions for the rest of my life while still giving some information about me to those who are curious. Without further ado, here are the most common questions that I’d rather not answer anymore.


Q: What do you do for work?

A: Few questions turn me off of someone faster than this one, especially when this is the first question someone asks me right after we meet for the first time ever. Is that really the most interesting question you can come up with to ask this new person? Beyond that, I dislike talking about work as it is often boring, stressful, and takes away time from my life that I’d rather spend on things I enjoy. Also, talking about work tends to make people judge each other by what they do and consider each other to be their job titles instead of just something they do in part of their lives (ie “janitor” instead of “someone who does janitorial work”), which often leads to unpleasant assumptions and ideas about others. I don’t care to talk about what I do for work or what you do for work. Instead, let’s talk about fun, interesting things that both of us can enjoy talking about.

Q: Why are you so quiet?

A: I like to make my words count. That means I tend to speak only when I have something to say, which is not that often as most conversation is boring or stressful for me. My own head is quite an entertaining place, and I can do whatever I like in there without being met with negativity from anybody else. I also don’t like explaining myself much, repeating what I say, having to talk in loud situations, or being interrupted, all of which happens to me a lot. As such, I generally say little and mostly prefer to just be quietly present with others.

Q: How long did it take you to grow your beard that long?

A: This is a hard question to answer. My beard has changed shape and size many times since I started growing this version of it back in late 2016 and even more so since I first started growing a circle beard back in high school. If I had to guess, I’d say it would have taken about two years to get to its current length if I’d started from scratch. Beards typically grow about half an inch a month, and beard length in beard competitions is measured from the bottom of the closed lip on down. My beard is around a foot long, so it would take somebody about two years of no shaving to match my current beard length.


Q: What’s going on between A and B?

A: I hate gossip. Whatever is happening between two or more other folks that doesn’t involve me is none of my business, and I intend to keep it that way. I reckon that folks who gossip to me about others will also gossip about me to others and I don’t want to be a part of that. Beyond that, if you want the most accurate information about someone else’s romantic life, health issues, financial situation, or anything else, ask that person directly instead of going to somebody else who may or may not know what’s actually the case.


Q: Have you tried/why don’t you try ______?

A: I dislike unsolicited advice, especially when it comes after I simply answer a question someone has about how I’m doing or what’s going on. I’ve learned a lot about how to take good care of myself, and someone speaking as if they necessarily know that what they’re saying will help rather than hurt rubs me the wrong way. Often, someone has recommended I try something that has consistently failed for me, do something that I was already doing, or assumed that what works for them must also work for me. In fact, I’ve gotten into a lot of trouble in life by blindly following what someone else wanted me to do rather than finding something that fits who I am and works well for me, even if that’s something different than what works well for the average person. The idea of asking as a polite way of telling is something I heard as a kid and has stuck in the back of my head all these years, and it seems truest whenever unsolicited advice occurs.


Q: Are you gonna get another one?

A: I wish everybody would stop asking me that question. My dog Sawyer was my best friend ever. It took me over a year and a half to feel decent after he died, and I only got there that quickly because I cried almost all day, almost every day during that time and didn’t have a day job to get in the way of healing. I don’t want to go through that pain again since I barely survived it the first time and I don’t know if I’d survive it a second time, especially since I’m so busy now that I have hardly any time for the deep healing work that I did years ago. Beyond that, dogs are living beings that require food, shelter, water, vet visits, enrichment, and other stuff that takes lots of time and money. Even if I were capable of properly caring and providing for another living being in all those ways, it would still be up to me as to whether or not I’d choose to do so. I doubt you want me to die from grief over losing another animal friend, and I also doubt that you’re willing to pay all my bills that would occur if I got a pet. So instead of asking me if I’m going to get another animal friend or flat-out telling me to do so (remembering what I said above about unsolicited advice), please instead ask for stories, pictures, videos, fun and funny memories, and other sweet things from my life with Sawyer. I’m glad to share any and all of those with you.

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Choosing Emotions?

Posted on August 26, 2026 by admin

You can’t choose your emotions. Bold statement, I know. Yet I felt compelled to write about this since so many people believe that you can choose how you feel. Here’s my take on this.

Even though some see emotions and feelings as two different things, I them as different names for the same thing, so I’ll be using them interchangeably in this post (as I do in most of my other posts about emotions). Further, I see them as automatic sensations that arise beyond one’s control. Thus, I believe that most of those who claim to be able to choose their emotions are merely suppressing/ignoring them and thinking they have mastery over what they feel. More on that later.

What I see as my best, strongest argument against this is that if humans could choose their emotions, then nobody would ever feel any differently than they wanted to at any time. To show the absurdity and impossibility of this, ask someone who claims that emotions are a choice the following: if somebody breaks into your house and kills all your family members while leaving you alive, could you choose to feel only positive emotions and avoid feeling any negative emotions? I don’t believe anyone could, even someone who claims to be able to do so. Perhaps enough healing work over a long enough span of time could remove all negativity from that event. However, that is a far different thing than being able to successfully prevent that negativity arising in the first place.

In my most peaceful emotional states, I have been immune to feeling bothered by certain things that have upset me greatly in much lower emotional states. However, I’ve still been able to feel the full range of emotions, including anger, sadness, fear, and other forms of negativity. Even in those states, I’ve not been able to decide which emotions to feel and which ones to avoid. My lack of resistance to any and all feelings in those peaceful states is what allows them to pass quickly and return to those peaceful, easy feelings.

This is not limited to me. There is a woman known as Patient S. M. who, due to the destruction of her amygdala, is almost completely unable to feel fear. Tests have repeatedly found that the only thing that can cause her to feel fear is simulating suffocation (such as through inhaling an excessive amount of carbon dioxide), which is also believed to produce a deep-seated fear response in all other humans. She is unable to prevent fear from arising in those suffocation tests, and she is unable to make fear arise when watching scary movies, walking through haunted house attractions, handling snakes and spiders, being kidnapped at knifepoint by strangers, and any number of other dangerous situations she’s been through that would make most folks feel terrified. To me, this is a strong real-world case for the impossibility of choosing emotions.

I was certainly unable to prevent massive sadness, sorrow, depression, and grief from coming up nearly all day every day for months after my dog Sawyer died. The tears flowed more during that time than they ever have for me before or since then. I can hardly remember the depth of all that pain at this point, yet I’m sure I’d still be drowning in it if I hadn’t experienced it fully. I feel so confident saying that because of past instances in which I suppressed the pain and didn’t feel any better until I finally felt through it all. In many cases, I’m still working on feeling through all the pain, such as the painful experiences from when I was a kid. Thank goodness I allowed all the pain around Sawyer’s death to come up without resistance. Here’s hoping I can successfully do that with all the other pain as well.

While I don’t know why some folks believe they can choose how to feel, I have a guess. My guess is that someone who is especially skilled at letting their emotions run their course without resistance might mistake the swift passage of negative feelings for being able to decide not to have them. It’s also likely that someone who is used to suppressing unwanted feelings can think that refusing to fully experience them is the same as preventing them from happening in the first place. Of course, suppression doesn’t prevent or get rid of feelings. All it does is make them stick around and cause lots of trouble on the emotional, mental, and, in many cases, physical levels. And for anyone who thinks they can make decisions free from emotion, sorry, that’s not how humans operate. Humans make decisions according to their values, which are based on emotion. Reason comes in after the fact to justify decisions that have already been made. Jonathan Haidt talks a great deal about this in The Righteous Mind. He’s one of many who have discussed the inherent emotionality of human beings in contrast to the reasonable, rational foundation that many assume that at least some humans possess.

If I haven’t convinced you by now that humans can’t choose their feelings and that we’re all fundamentally emotional rather than reasonable, that’s ok. I know I didn’t come to those positions by reason, so I don’t expect anyone else to do so. Whether or not anyone else agrees with me on this, I can still use what I’ve learned to make my own life better, freer, and more peaceful. And that’s such a good feeling.

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Too Much Self-Care?

Posted on August 19, 2026 by admin

I wake up before the sun

And go back to sleep until sunrise is done

Then it’s time for all the things

Like oils and mantras and a bell that dings

A few hours of breathwork to make me feel good

No matter what’s happening in my neighborhood

Followed by some heat and then cold

To power me up and stop me getting old

Up next, a float for another few hours

That mellows me out and gives me more powers

Along with chanting and affirmations galore

When I think I’m all done, I do just a few more

Drinking some hot tea and then reading the leaves

Gives me an idea of what’s coming over the eaves

As does checking out my astrology chart

And clearing my chakras, especially the heart

Time to go sit by my dog Sawyer’s grave

So that videos, pics, and memories I’ll save

I use crystals to bring up whatever needs healing

And yoga to chill out and stop me from reeling

I listen to sounds and motivational speeches

While I meditate on one of various beaches

Now that my self-care list is put away

I’m finally ready to start my day

Now that I’m clear in my heart and head

Oh no, now it’s nighttime and I’m off to bed

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How Would You Treat a Teddy Bear?

Posted on August 12, 2026 by admin

How would you treat a teddy bear? This is something I often wonder when I think about my stuffed animals and how others would react to them. Beyond that, I see it applying to many other areas of life for many living beings. Here’s my take on this.

I was inspired to write about this yesterday morning. On the drive to work, I saw a Hello Kitty stuffed animal sitting on top of a trash can on trash pickup day. I stopped, put her in the backseat, and carried on with my day. After work, I spent some time giving her a bath/shower with laundry detergent in the bathtub. Giving her a day to dry showed that most of the dirt is gone, though I’d still like to wash her some more. I’m glad she looks much cleaner now than when I first saw her.

This wasn’t the first time I’d rescued a stuffed animal from being thrown out like a piece of trash. In fact, I’ve done this on at least five other occasions, though this is the most amount of work I’ve had to put into cleaning a rescued stuffed animal. I don’t get the mindset of those who throw away stuffed animals, especially ones that are still clean and in great shape. Why not give them to friends or family members who might enjoy them, send them to organizations that find homes for unwanted teddies, or at least donate them to a thrift store? Any of those would be better options than being left to rot in a landfill or getting burned up.

I’m sure that at least some of my approach, feelings, and thoughts around this were created from the Toy Story movies. I grew up with the first two and saw the third within a few years of its release. The idea of living toys has been with me since I was only a few years old, and it has undoubtedly shaped my entire perspective on this. When I see toys that have been thrown away, it makes me think of a scene toward the end of Toy Story 3 when it looks like the toys we’ve grown to love throughout the series are about to die. I hate to think of that happening to any toy, especially a cute stuffed animal. Whether or not they actually have feelings, it still feels mean to treat them badly.

My concerns here go beyond toys. My suspicion is that those who treat stuffed animals with cruelty tend to treat other things as well as beings in general that way. It’s rare to find someone who acts with kindness in all areas of life except for one area in which there is great meanness. Love and hatred both tend to bleed over into all aspects of life; whichever one becomes dominant depends on which gets used the most. Those who abuse animals also often abuse humans, for example. I believe that those who abuse stuffed animals find it easier to abuse living beings as they are used to acting cruelly, even if only to inanimate objects at first. The more lifelike the stuffed animals they abuse, the easier they’d find it to abuse real animals, and so on.

Even with living beings, there are plenty of folks who abuse them. Lots of folks hate small dogs, for instance, and at least verbally abuse them while also talking or “joking” about physically hurting them. Some go so far as to actually physically abuse or even kill them. For these sickos, it seems that the smaller, cuter, and more defenseless the animal, the bigger the kick they get out of hurting those poor critters. I’m glad my dog Sawyer never had to interact with anyone who would do that to him, any other small dogs, or any other animals in general of whatever size. I feel devastated for those animals who do have the misfortune of meeting such cruel excuses for humans.

I see this also applying to humans abusing other humans. The bully at my job aims most of his verbal abuse toward those younger and physically weaker than him. Although he has backed off of me almost entirely since I put him in his place late last year, I can’t help but think that my being a bit shorter than him, about half his weight, and physically far weaker than he is made me an especially appealing target for him, in addition to my emotional issues and hypersensitivity to cruelty. The notion that bullies are mostly cowards who pick on those they believe won’t be able to effectively push back seems ever more plausible to me, especially in this case where the bully in question is a 52-year-old pastor picking on a small guy in his early 30s.

Building off of the previous paragraph, I do sometimes think other humans see me as they would a teddy bear. As a result, some treat me well and see me as either needing or deserving extra special care. Others, however, see it as an opportunity to push me around, get whatever they want from me, and abuse me in any way they like. This has mostly been done by those who were older than me, and almost always by those who are stronger than me. As you probably guessed, I much prefer to be around those who treat me, stuffed animals, and real animals well. This is one of the reasons I love character interactions at Disney World so much. The characters have always treated me well and interacting with them has often been the highlight of my trips. Whenever I’ve shown them some of my stuffed friends, they’ve also treated them with kindness, gentleness, and love. Even other non-character Disney cast members have shown appreciation for my stuffed friends. That always makes my heart soar and puts a smile on my face. I’ll take those kinds of interactions with nice folks over bad interactions with bullies any day.

Whatever your answer to the central question in this post, it likely informs how you’d also treat animals and humans, especially smaller, weaker ones than you. It is also likely enough to let me know whether or not I’d want to interact with you if our paths ever crossed. So, with all of this in mind, how would you treat a teddy bear?

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Life, Time, Opportunities, and Regrets

Posted on August 5, 2026 by admin

For at least the last four years, I’ve spent lots of time thinking about how fleeting everything in life is. Plenty of things that seem like they’ll always be around can vanish in a short time. Afterward, it can be as if they were never there in the first place. Other things pop up overnight and are gone just as fast. While time in general seems to move faster now than it did when I was a kid, I believe that part of that is how fast things fall away and get replaced with other things. Let’s explore this together.

Disney World is a great example of change. Many reference Walt Disney’s idea that Disneyland would never be finished. Sadly, they normally do this as a callous response to someone else’s distress over losing one of their favorite Disney attractions that has been removed and replaced with something else. That aside, there has been a ton of change at every Disney park since it first opened. Many of them bear little to no resemblance to how they looked on opening day. Some of the many changes over the past few years at Disney World include the loss of MuppetVision 3D at Disney’s Hollywood Studios, DinoLand U.S.A. and the Affection Section petting zoo at Animal Kingdom, and the Rivers of America and the longest-running version of Walt Disney’s Carousel of Progress at the Magic Kingdom. I was one of many folks who felt shocked and saddened by the loss of these wonderful attractions, several of which had been around for over thirty years. They all seemed immune to removal until they weren’t. As glad as I am that I got to experience them all before they were gone, I still wish that I could go experience them again on future trips.

Unfortunately, as with so many other lessons I’ve learned, this one came out of heartbreak. My dog Sawyer’s death is what drove this home for me. Since then, it’s been further driven home by the deaths of my grandmother and others close to me. I so wish I’d spent more time with Sawyer, my grandparents, and other loved ones who have died. It hurts so much that I won’t get any other opportunities to visit with them on Earth. There are things I wish I’d said to and done with all of them, and now it’s too late. It especially hurts that I won’t get a chance to save more of Sawyer’s fur, get a clay impression of his paw, and stand up for him so that he could have gotten an opportunity for more life. I wish all of that were different and it kills me that it isn’t.

I often think of the ephemerality of life when I seek to make plans to visit with someone I like and they consistently turn me down, somehow always have plans, or otherwise don’t make time or even show interest in hanging out with me. For example, if I ask someone whom I consider a friend to hang out with me at a particular activity or on a specific day, the person will often decline entirely without suggesting any alternative. They hardly ever say anything along the lines of, “I can’t meet then; how about another time?” or “I’d rather not do A, so how about B instead?” The fact that they don’t suggest an alternative comes across to me as if they don’t want to spend time with me at all, and that hurts me. Reinforcing this is the fact that most folks I know don’t reach out to me. I have to reach out to them, whether it’s to make plans, ask for help, or simply say hello. Sometimes I think about this in relation to folks I’ve known who died unexpectedly, especially those who were quite young when they died. I wonder how their relationships would have changed if everyone knew how little time together they had left. I wonder how those I know would think and feel about our interactions if I died unexpectedly.

All of this is why I do my best to seize opportunities as they arise. When I’m on the fence about something, I remember my values, think about how I might not get the chance to do that particular thing again, and ask myself how I’d feel looking back someday if I missed my chance. After all, I never know how long an opportunity will last or if it will come back someday. The past six years have repeatedly shown me that there are no guarantees in life and that anything and everything can change in a second. Some say that have no regrets. I have many, though I’m doing what I can to have fewer regrets over missed opportunities going forward. As with so many other life lessons, this is one that I wish I’d learned sooner and far less painfully. I only hope that my satisfactions in life will someday outweigh my regrets.

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Don’t Bring Me Your Problems as a Matter of Course

Posted on July 29, 2026 by admin

Don’t bring me your problems as a matter of course

And talk about your woes until your voice becomes hoarse

And certainly don’t start complaining away

Before you’ve even made sure that I’m feeling okay

I don’t want to hear about all the problems you’ve had

With all of the humans who’ve made you feel bad

If you want to make your issues with them flee

Then talk it all over with them, not with me

I can’t solve problems you have with another

Be it a friend, stranger, coworker, or mother

Nor make you feel better as I don’t control you

Only you can stop yourself feeling blue

Keep all of your gossip and drama to yourself

Rather than dump it on me like a mischievous elf

I can think of fewer things that’d be more of a curse

Than you feeling better by making me feel worse

I’ll put it bluntly so that you know what I mean

Don’t make me all dirty so that you can feel clean

Let’s talk about nice things that we both want to hear

And make our time together ever so dear

I’d much prefer that to your using me

As an unpaid therapist only there to serve thee

All that that makes me want to do

Is find any way to steer clear of you

If you want to lean on me and I’m up to the task

Then before you start venting, always first ask

If I say yes, then continue you may

But if I say no, then not one dark word you will say

Missing Sawyer and other dogs and critters who’ve died

And tons of other experiences from which I have cried

Have made it so hard to enjoy my own life

That I want to avoid any and all kinds of strife

I’ve had enough parades ruined by rain

From those who have brought me even more pain

So if there’s lots on your mind and you’re feeling stuck

Take a page from programmers and talk to the duck

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